Thursday, March 20, 2014

Lover's ode...









Thursday is Meeting the Bar at dversepoets.com where 
we have critique and craft.  Bjorn has asked us to write 
kennings (Old Norse metaphors) made up or new brief 
metaphoric phrases or a compound word which are 
underlined below:

I saw her today near the Heavens-gate
Sitting on a park bench quiet and still
peering between wrought iron bars ornate
She wrote on paper with ink, pigeon quill

Stoically, she thought, then penned her love-words
She had hoped his absence temporary,
flocks flew in the formation  missing-bird
Her soulmate rests in the cemetery

 Poetry flowed from her heart to her hand
Remembering their love life together
He had given her a gold wedding band
love to last always and now-forever

To be his wife was her utmost desire -
now, ready to light the Juliette-fire
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          



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24 comments:

  1. Katie Mia FrederickMarch 21, 2014 at 12:14 AM

    Pigeon quilled and willed to BE with one foreverNOW..
    but separate and same as both..together..
    NOWoneforevermoreNOwinWrittenword...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kathy ReedMarch 21, 2014 at 2:01 AM

      If these are suggestions, I did use one or two, changed a couple ;)

      Delete
  2. RMPMarch 21, 2014 at 1:45 AM

    mmm...this is lovely...and sad...but lovely!

    ReplyDelete
  3. GabriellaMarch 21, 2014 at 2:06 AM

    I liked how you evoked this well-known love story and made us see it from a more quiet and reflective perspective. Interesting that you see her as writing poetry before she dies.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Roslyn RossMarch 21, 2014 at 2:09 AM

    Ah, lovely. As others said, sad, but lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brian MillerMarch 21, 2014 at 3:32 AM

    def bitter sweet....i fear it might consume her eh? great job on the kennings.....the juliette-fire....heavens-gate....they play well on the story and open it up as well.....

    ReplyDelete
  6. MichaelMarch 21, 2014 at 5:14 AM

    This is so sad Katy and so beautifully written, very well done. You captured the loneliness vividly.

    ReplyDelete
  7. MaryMarch 21, 2014 at 5:18 AM

    Poignant and touching. I could picture the scene, feel her love, and feel her pain!

    ReplyDelete
  8. vb holmesMarch 21, 2014 at 6:19 AM

    You have expressed so well the hope that she could go on after his loss and the realization that she could not forget. Sad but lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousMarch 21, 2014 at 6:20 AM

    Tender... and I really liked the flow that came with the rhymes... added into the emotions behind the words. Well-penned.
    -HA

    ReplyDelete
  10. ClaudiaMarch 21, 2014 at 8:28 AM

    there are those romeo's and juliette's that will just die without the other... you cannot lose your soulmate and live on..? i dunno... think that's the kind of love that still goes beyond my understanding..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kathy ReedMarch 21, 2014 at 9:01 AM

      For my, too, personally. Guess I was aiming for hyperbole...if that's the right figure of speech ;)

      Delete
  11. ScarletMarch 21, 2014 at 10:30 AM

    Such a lovely but sad situation ~ To lose one's soulmate is tragic ~ I specially like this line:

    ready to light the Juliette-fire

    ReplyDelete
  12. brudbergMarch 21, 2014 at 12:22 PM

    Though loss and sorrow I can still feel the joy of love they had... and yes bitter-sweet is the right word.. very brave to weave it into a sonnet.. and kudos for using a real word with kenning origin.. (soulmate)... I liked this a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  13. UnknownMarch 21, 2014 at 1:34 PM

    bitter-sweet is def the perfect ken for this write... sad that her soulmate is gone, yet, a smile was brought to my face as she reflected on the love they had... very nice

    ReplyDelete
  14. Cressida de NovaMarch 22, 2014 at 8:09 AM

    Losing a soul mate is devastating I imagine.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Brian MillerMarch 22, 2014 at 12:04 PM

    hope you are having a wonderful saturday
    just got back from baseball practice with my won...

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousMarch 22, 2014 at 3:18 PM

    Beautiful! Such a heart-touching piece.

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousMarch 22, 2014 at 3:18 PM

    Beautiful! Such a heart-touching piece.

    ReplyDelete
  18. The BizzaMarch 22, 2014 at 5:28 PM

    This is so beautiful. Had to remember to breathe after reading it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. humbirdMarch 23, 2014 at 5:19 PM

    Usually people live alone after losing soulmate...~ nicely written, flowing 'love-words' from 'hand to heart' ~ missed reading your poems, thanks for stopping by. :)x

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousMarch 23, 2014 at 6:44 PM

    Hey Katie--I thought I had commented on this but I am not on top of things these days--a very cool idea with pigeon quill and Juliette-fire--I picture someone sitting outside of Pere LaChaise Cemetery in Paris-- where Jim Morrison is buried! Thanks. k.

    ReplyDelete
  21. TCPCMarch 25, 2014 at 10:40 PM

    very poignant and beautiful!

    ReplyDelete

All comments, constructive and otherwise, are welcome and appreciated here. Thank you to those who show an interest in my quirky style of writing, photography, painting, and presenting a feeling or thought and for stopping by A Dwelling by the Sea..

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