Friday, May 10, 2013

Tinker, tenor, carpenter...

Tony over at introduces us to Terza Rima - Italian three form poetry for Thursday's Form

for all..perhaps this needs a do over..what think?

  Emotions of the past are presently
  frayed, stirring, slowly unraveling
  pulling apart my full heart pensively

  I need strength to meet affairs of the day

  Life's joys, sorrows are an open letter,
   memoirs of lifetime's task to find my way

  I'm a multi-hued heavy knit sweater

  Warming life's wheels, changing plugins, trappings
  the attitude of a reaching tenor

  - and the spirit of a tinker tapping

  Should I build more spring nests for fall's cold rains?
    Tired of slander, hammering lies' rapping

  Experience distills for memory's sake

  Forever sails unfurl, my soul to send
 Learning to be alone before end's take

  Let salt of the ocean the spirit mend

  Leave immortal foot paths in dark blue skies
  It's ironic for after all one lends

  to life,  love, raising  and building good lives,
 We lose life, all we have; all truth arrives


  1. the wisdom in the close...and pretty cool terza rima...i will leave the form critic to tony but i like the opening stanza, would probably start the second with 'i need' instead of needing to make it a bit more personal earlier on...i like the tinker tapping too...smiles.

  2. wow,,thanks for all three comments Brian..smiles..I'll be back later for reading time for sure.. I will change the "needing"

  3. I like "I'm a multi-hued heavy knit sweater warming life's wheels." That expresses so much about your role. I am trying to decide for myself if the ending is optimistic or pessimistic. We do give all we have to life for sure, even though we eventually lose our life. But yes, there is a prize at the end as well..we hope. You really worked this form well, Katy. A poem with meaning, with message. Deep.

    1. Thank you Mary..I will be stopping by later this evening..

    2. I especially liked that line as well : )

  4. There are some lovely rhymes here; although hammerings isn't really a rhyme for tapping/trapping ... in a feminine rhyme like this the rhymed sound is the main vowel, in this case 'a'or 'app'.

    You have pentameter going right through the poem. It's not always iambic, but it's pretty rare for anyone to write purely iambic pentameter poems these days; I'm sure I don't in my sonnets.

    Strictly speaking, as you have not written a terza rima sonnet (4 tercets and a couplet), you should have finished with fgfg as your closing rhyme scheme, rather than the couplet you have. That said, form is not a strait-jacket; it is a guide and should be adapted to suit the needs of the poem and the purposes of the poet ... or at least that's what I believe.

    However, all that aside, what you have here is a very effective poem - and that is the object of the exercise ... smiles. Thanks for joining in at dVerse today.

    1. Points well taken, Tony; I changed 3 different lines for better rhyming, the iambic illudes me. I know I ran over the 4 tercets..didn't have the will power to abbreviate the thought..thank you very much! Will be by later to read yours

  5. I specially like this part: let salt of the ocean the spirit cleanse ~

    I would like to believe that after all is said and done, in the end, we find love's true prize ~

    Good to see you Katy ~

    1. Thank you Grace..I changed 'cleanse' to mend to appease Tony's mention of rhyming but maybe should have left it the way it was? Will stop by later.

  6. That last stanza could be a poem on its own, it holds the truth of what we can hope for...I enjoyed your Terza Rima, it had a quick, almost rap beat with some very creative lines... nice work!

  7. Some great introspection throughout...looking back...condensing meaning into 'love.'...needing "strength to meet affairs of the day."...We can all identify with that.

  8. def. build more spring rests...for me there's so much hope in doing this..even in the face of fall rain you the images...multi-hued heavy knit good..

  9. Definitely liked the immortal footprints - and the deep thoughts at the end - a soft melancholic memento mori

  10. Hiya katy, like you, I am rather partial to the -ing form of the gerund. It makes for a nice rolling rhythm.

  11. Great the wise words in the end! To life and to love.

  12. A creative, introspective piece, katy--nicely done.

  13. Loved the 'multi-hued heavy knit sweater' for to survive this is what some of us need to wear...

    Love is a strange thing - it can be warm and comforting or leave us cold and alone when the nest is flown.

    Anna :o]

  14. "I'm a multi-hued heavy knit sweater
    Warming life's wheels, changing plugins..trappings
    with attitude of a reaching tenor"

    Katy, this is wonderful! love these descriptive lines, such beauty here... excellent work!

    1. Thank you..always good to hear such words ;)


All comments, constructive and otherwise, are welcome and appreciated here. Thank you to those who show an interest in my quirky style of writing, photography, painting, and presenting a feeling or thought and for stopping by A Dwelling by the Sea..