Tony over at dversepoets.com introduces us to Terza Rima - Italian three form poetry for Thursday's Form
for all..perhaps this needs a do over..what think?
Emotions of the past are presently
frayed, stirring, slowly unraveling
pulling apart my full heart pensively
pulling apart my full heart pensively
I need strength to meet affairs of the day
Life's joys, sorrows are an open letter,
memoirs of lifetime's task to find my way
I'm a multi-hued heavy knit sweater
Warming life's wheels, changing plugins, trappings
the attitude of a reaching tenor
- and the spirit of a tinker tapping
Should I build more spring nests for fall's cold rains?
Tired of slander, hammering lies' rapping
Experience distills for memory's sake
Forever sails unfurl, my soul to send
Learning to be alone before end's take
Let salt of the ocean the spirit mend
Leave immortal foot paths in dark blue skies
It's ironic for after all one lends
to life, love, raising and building good lives,
We lose life, all we have; all truth arrives
We lose life, all we have; all truth arrives
nice...like the wisdom in the close...and pretty cool terza rima...i will leave the form critic to tony but i like the opening stanza, would probably start the second with 'i need' instead of needing to make it a bit more personal earlier on...i like the tinker tapping too...smiles.
ReplyDeletewow,,thanks for all three comments Brian..smiles..I'll be back later for reading time for sure.. I will change the "needing"
ReplyDeleteI like "I'm a multi-hued heavy knit sweater warming life's wheels." That expresses so much about your role. I am trying to decide for myself if the ending is optimistic or pessimistic. We do give all we have to life for sure, even though we eventually lose our life. But yes, there is a prize at the end as well..we hope. You really worked this form well, Katy. A poem with meaning, with message. Deep.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary..I will be stopping by later this evening..
DeleteI especially liked that line as well : )
DeleteThere are some lovely rhymes here; although hammerings isn't really a rhyme for tapping/trapping ... in a feminine rhyme like this the rhymed sound is the main vowel, in this case 'a'or 'app'.
ReplyDeleteYou have pentameter going right through the poem. It's not always iambic, but it's pretty rare for anyone to write purely iambic pentameter poems these days; I'm sure I don't in my sonnets.
Strictly speaking, as you have not written a terza rima sonnet (4 tercets and a couplet), you should have finished with fgfg as your closing rhyme scheme, rather than the couplet you have. That said, form is not a strait-jacket; it is a guide and should be adapted to suit the needs of the poem and the purposes of the poet ... or at least that's what I believe.
However, all that aside, what you have here is a very effective poem - and that is the object of the exercise ... smiles. Thanks for joining in at dVerse today.
Points well taken, Tony; I changed 3 different lines for better rhyming, the iambic illudes me. I know I ran over the 4 tercets..didn't have the will power to abbreviate the thought..thank you very much! Will be by later to read yours
DeleteI specially like this part: let salt of the ocean the spirit cleanse ~
ReplyDeleteI would like to believe that after all is said and done, in the end, we find love's true prize ~
Good to see you Katy ~
Thank you Grace..I changed 'cleanse' to mend to appease Tony's mention of rhyming but maybe should have left it the way it was? Will stop by later.
DeleteThat last stanza could be a poem on its own, it holds the truth of what we can hope for...I enjoyed your Terza Rima, it had a quick, almost rap beat with some very creative lines... nice work!
ReplyDeleteSome great introspection throughout...looking back...condensing meaning into 'love.'...needing "strength to meet affairs of the day."...We can all identify with that.
ReplyDeletedef. build more spring rests...for me there's so much hope in doing this..even in the face of fall rain you know...love the images...multi-hued heavy knit sweater...so good..
ReplyDeleteDefinitely liked the immortal footprints - and the deep thoughts at the end - a soft melancholic memento mori
ReplyDeleteHiya katy, like you, I am rather partial to the -ing form of the gerund. It makes for a nice rolling rhythm.
ReplyDeleteGreat images..love the wise words in the end! To life and to love.
ReplyDeleteA creative, introspective piece, katy--nicely done.
ReplyDeleteLoved the 'multi-hued heavy knit sweater' for to survive this is what some of us need to wear...
ReplyDeleteLove is a strange thing - it can be warm and comforting or leave us cold and alone when the nest is flown.
Anna :o]
"I'm a multi-hued heavy knit sweater
ReplyDeleteWarming life's wheels, changing plugins..trappings
with attitude of a reaching tenor"
Katy, this is wonderful! love these descriptive lines, such beauty here... excellent work!
Thank you..always good to hear such words ;)
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