This composition is in the huitain form introduced to me by deVerse this last week; also I used the "summer" theme for the month of August from another writer on the site...I hope it passes muster..I know it's a far cry from the famous ballads and writings by countless before today ;} Besides, Cowgirl Poetry, genre all it's own, is very formidable.
~huitain~ usually 8 syllables, 8 lines in a stanza
Old Cowgirls...
Ready for trails to lose our cares
Pushing back low tree boughs that poked
Riding through small canyons, back roads
Long shirts tucked into riding jeans
protected us from poison oak
Cowgirl hats provided sunscreen
Water droplets covered with dust
clung to our boots and I wonder
whatever happened to my trust??
Narrow paths tall grass at shoulder
Turning necks in saddles under
skies that heard our dreams and wishes
what parents oft put asunder
freedom with a horsetail's swishes
Brushing my horses bangs aside
Buckskin coat with expresso sheen
Her appaloosa with sad eyes
Laughing faces where big tears streamed
We were just under seventeenLaughing faces where big tears streamed
Dismounting to drink cool water
Pink snow had fallen on lime green
To draw strength one day for fodder
Hooves dug in dirt climbing up hills
Rocky terrain met meadow lakes
Wilderness ferns and flowers thrilled
Grasshoppers, snakes leaped in our wake
Sharing feelings, goals, fears to sate
We raced, we cantered, walked slowly
Country nowhere else could equate
Twilight led us home woefully
Learning preparedness those day trips
Had quickened our first responses
So when someone loved lost their grip,
terrible things confronted us
We grew extra arms, took losses
Shared losing a sister too soon
Inclined to believe our horses
chariots waiting past the moon
by klr
The photo in the belt buckle is not my friend and I..there are none that we can find...
Lovely writing ... truly a cowgirl song :-)
ReplyDeleteI really think I could do better, but thanks ;)
Deletereally like that last stanza....they are set up nice but that one really brings the feel of that day into it for me...love watching the horses at the stables nearby....and we got plenty of grasshoppers...smiles.
ReplyDelete...there were many days like that..thanks, Brian..
Deletenothing like sweating on your horse. summer with the horse is even more special than any other time of the yer
ReplyDeletestreet rubbish
..or horses sweating..thanks
DeleteQuite amazing that you did all this in the huitain format - it flows along with little sense that the reins of the form are limiting it in any way. A sweet poignant story - youth certainly feels invulnerable and probably even more so on the trail. k.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I was afraid it was too choppy ;)
DeleteIncredible talent! Loved it!
ReplyDeleteWhy, thank you, Rosemary ;)
Deletegreat closure with the horses
ReplyDeletechariots waiting past the moon... and tough on losing one sister too soon...sharing the good and hard stuff..feels like life..
Thanks, Claudia..they say to write about what you know ;)
DeleteEvocative memories here with feelings of the lost past
ReplyDelete...thanks,,yes we can't go back can we?
DeleteOh my! You have taken the huitain to a new level and such a story you tell. At first I had fond memories of my own childhood in CA riding with my sister. Then it took me to NV where I now live. And then all of a sudden...I lost my sister a few years ago. Powerful writing, my friend. Hope to see more of you at dVerse. I have a prompt coming up on Thursday on "characters." I suspect you could really nail it!
ReplyDeleteThank you, I will look for it ;) I had to really stay with this one,,keep at it till it felt right..still think it could be better..
DeleteWhat wonderful verse. I was transported to a magical place reading this.
ReplyDeleteHappy days. I could imagine this as a song too. You painted a lovely picture and those last few lines were perfect.
ReplyDelete