At dversepoets.com
today Brian ask us to use the form Paradells -this is described thusly:
The paradelle is a 4-stanza poem, where each stanza consists of 6 lines.
For the first 3 stanzas, the 1st and 2nd lines should be the same; the 3rd and 4th lines should also be the same; and the 5th and 6th lines should be composed of all the words from the 1st and 3rd lines and only the words from the 1st and 3rd lines.
The final stanza should be composed of all the words in the 5th and 6th lines of the first three stanzas and only the words from the 5th and 6th lines of the first three stanzas.:
Traveling with white doves from dawn till dusk
- traveling with white doves from dawn till dusk
my sail seeks your sweet kiss on a slight breeze
My sail seeks your sweet kiss on a slight breeze
A soft breeze carries my kiss traveling
from dusk till dawn, white doves carry your kiss
Faintly I hear your tender whisper call
- faintly I hear your tender whisper call
I'm gliding due west searching for my bliss
I'm gliding due west searching for my bliss
Due west, tenderly gliding, your whisper call
faintly I hear, my bliss due west ..searching
Falling stars spell your name in midnight blue
- falling stars spell your name in midnight blue
I feel your presence with the morning dew
- I feel your presence with the morning dew
Your name I spell in the falling morn dew
Midnight blue feels your presence in the stars
Searching in the midnight blue for your kiss
I feel your spell falling with soft white doves
Due west, a slight breeze carries your presence
blissfully gliding my sails from dawn till dusk
With the soft morning dew I hear your call
I hear your name whispered by the stars
This was a sweet rendering of the love poem.. I love the last stanza.. You got it so well together
ReplyDeleteoh some cool magic touches...the falling stars spelling the name in the heavens is cool...and you spelling it in the morning dew...think are my favs....i like the 5/6 lines in the opening as well...the kiss sailing on to them...and nice job on the last stanza too, not a awkward word placement at all...very cool kathy
ReplyDeleteThis was so coherent...did you write the last stanza first? A great love poem!!
ReplyDeleteSuch a romantic; makes me wish my wife was not out of town. You rocked the form, & gave it a Lord Byron twist; very nicely done, K. I like the line /your name I spell in the falling morning dew/.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very romantic take on the prompt, Katy! "Falling stars spell your name in midnight blue" - my favorite line in your poem along with the closing line.
ReplyDeleteThis is incredibly beautiful, with the doves, the midnight blue and the loved one's presence on the morning dew.......
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful and gentle and dreamlike poem, Kathy. You worked the form very well.
ReplyDeletethis was so elegant... it was more like a gentle echo... lovely
ReplyDeleteThe poem has a soft lilting effect and moves gracefully breathing peace...beautifully spun...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Katy.!
ReplyDeleteVery romantic, and you managed this form beautifully.
ReplyDeleteLovely poem Katy, so well done.
ReplyDeleteRomantic and poignant - lovely response to the prompt.
ReplyDeletetraveling with white doves from dawn till dusk... how awesome would that be...love the tender voice in this katy...
ReplyDeleteI am so in love with this poem - beautifully done - K
ReplyDeleteAmazing. You wrote something beautiful in spite of the absurd restrictions. You're a master.
ReplyDeleteWonderful offering Katy! A smooth venturing out with love as a support! Great write!
ReplyDeleteHank
wow! wonderfully crafted. each stanza is lovely, but there is something about the first I particularly liked.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry, Kathy, but doves and morning dew have no place at the sea. One wonders if you are serious, or if you are just making fun of the art of poetry.
ReplyDelete