This month at dversepoets Bjorn has offered us a Sonnet challenge. Many poets struggle with writing Sonnet form, myself included. Part of the difficulty comes in working with the meter and rhyme scheme. I chose the Petrarchan Sonnet form...abab abab cde cde..with a pretext statement or problem and the resulting change or solution.
Au Revoir
Hopeful hearts rise and fall, undulate, sway,
revolving doors of full blown joy and pain.
Tangled in life's elegant human chain,
bloodied, tested by snags along the way.
Harder lessons living with shame and blame,
heady dreams impossible to sustain.
On bitter wings we lift to fly away,need for healing by soft, delicate rain.
Lost in the amethyst eye of the storm,
archangels wrap their wings around our fears,
we follow our one reappearing star.
Finding repose amidst our Milky Way home,
the love inside through billions of light years,
we take with us in sweetest au revoir.
I think this is lovely. I especially like the repose and sweetness of the conclusion.
ReplyDeleteThank you Rosemary. I've changed a bit it since you first read it.
DeleteI like the idea of following that star through lifetimes.
ReplyDeleteMe too. Thanks.
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ReplyDeleteKathy,
You put huge effort into this English Sonnet form with great rhyme and even strict iambic pentameter (which is tough). So I read it several times to try to get the problem-volta-answer structure which I was sure was there.
Stanza 1: Life is hard (with some hint of someone testing -- that part I hope is false -- only a mean ass controller would use such horror to "test" us. The Book a Job just such a evil story.)
Stanza 2: More suffering, even psychological, but delicate rain can heal -- wondering what the rain is.
Stanza 3. Reincarnation? Repeated suffering and learning. The karma model found in most Hinduisms and Buddhisms? But what is the reappearing star.
Stanza 4. A Christian metaphor for final death with love the healing rain?
OK, that was my attempt
Thank you. I wasn't sure the iambic pentameter was well applied.
DeleteStanza 1. Life tests us. We never know what to expect, are prepared for what might occur....not referring to any controlling entity.
Stanza 2. I had trouble with this. The suffering here is particularly due to one's own choices or hurts the people we love.
Stanza 3. Yes, but more the string theory. Each soul uniqueness, necessary part of the universal quilt.
Stanza 4. Only in regard to my personal connection with the amazing natural beauty of our physical world, its healing powers. I'd like to improve the sonnet by rewriting it to better get these elements across. Thanks for your input, Sabio.
Kathy: Thank you so much for the feedback -- great, I see better now.
DeleteWhat a wonderful sonnet that speaks of life and death... I think it's a Petrarchan sonnet with the volta placed between the second quartet and the first tercet... it speaks of life suffering and the resolution of an afterlife that has a very classical feel.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for joining.
Thank you, Bjorn. The afterlife to me is the eternal life of the soul as a part of the past and present and future and we are all connected.
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