Fernando Pessoa...a literary allusion to...

Over at Meeting the Bar and  dversepoets.com  we are challenged to write in the form of literary allusion, spotlighting or referencing, answering back or emulating a well known poet's work, artist, or other literary work.  I chose Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa for his existentialist style of writing which I admire.  His prose and poetry tell of his perennial unrest and search for meaning in life.  The top quotes and short poem are my models for the poem below.

1888 - 1935

“My soul is a hidden orchestra; I know not what instruments, what fiddle strings and harps, drums and tamboura I sound and clash inside myself. All I hear is the symphony.” 
― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet


“Being tired of all illusions and of everything about illusions – the loss of illusions, the uselessness of having them, the prefatigue of having to have them in order to lose them, the sadness of having had them, the intellectual shame of having had them knowing that they would have to end this way.” 
― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

"I'm both in the midst of life and observing it from where I stand.  I am like a playing card that belongs to an ancient and unknown suit, the only remnant of a lost pack.  I have become more image than me; I return to my own self taking myself out of existence, using my soul as ink."

_ F. Pessoa

I see boats moving on the sea.

Their sails, like wings of what I see,

Bring me a vague inner desire to be

Who I was without knowing what it was.

So all recalls my home self, and, because

It recalls that, what I am aches in me

                                                 by Fernando Pessoa ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I lay down my compass by the sea
footprints left, those gone before me

Alone is what I am used to, you see 

This night I'll find stars to catch and shine

put them in my pocket for Amaranthine

wishing the Milky Way reach and take me

                                                   by klr

                                                                    

 klr in response to F. P. statements

My thoughts: His words, "I sought life's meaning in all the wrong places,"....strikes a chord with me.  I like this...and certainly, life's meaning is often wrought in strife and constant pain.  Regardless of what story this man told, the trick was to not call anyone's bluff I guess....was he really so sad?  His fear that "he had not accomplished enough" or he "left a mark of nothingness" sounds all too familiar to my ears, and it would be wrong to denounce him for that.  The "too little too late" syndrome works just fine for me, as well; and "if usefulness is measured by one's decline you will get no answers"...is also a self deprecating feeling he adheres to...it is a thread throughout his works...but a moving experience to read him and a pleasure to feel a kinship toward him.

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