Berthed in deep rolling blue waves
concave wooden throat built by men who armored her
over steel petticoat
where shellfish dote
hundreds sleeping in her nave
Telescope facing westward
night turned to mellow
Hawaiian dawn's dew in morn newborn sun to follow
dire whistles blow
evident world wide war spurred
Best Navy in entire world
foiled communique`
scores of lives immortalized
that sky's December day
harbor soiree
thunderous Heavens unfurled
Written for Sunday's mini challenge over at imaginary garden with real
toads...this form of poetry in stanzas of 6 lines with rhyme; I used the subject
of war, peace, armistice in accordance with Veterans Day.
Awesome words!
ReplyDeletemany intriguing words choices here, especially (for me) "newborn sun to follow." yes, the sun still rises. very nice verses and subtle use of the form.
ReplyDeleteYou have done an excellent job, both with the stanza form and in the focus on your subject. I thought the rhyming words were excellent - subtle and adding musicality to the piece.
ReplyDeleteAgree with Kerry--you've built on each stanza here, and the individual rhymes are very effective. I especially like 'harbor soiree.'
ReplyDeleteYou've filled this form to full with your subject...well done...I also enjoy...
ReplyDelete"Hawaiian dawn's dew in morn
newborn sun to follow"
Great work!
You have described it perfectly ... well illustrated !!!
ReplyDeleteyou have done a beautiful job with the challenge. I love your verses and it's a splendid tribute too. happy week to you kkkkaty.
ReplyDeletewe just watched video of this in history class yesterday...of pearl harbor...stilling...you capture it well in verse as well...
ReplyDelete