In the form of Shakespeare's forte, (whose 450th birthday was last week) a sonnet. Tony asks us to write one today at dversepoets.com I think it is a lovely form, but little time to do it full justice. I've never been to Havana, just tired to imagine it.
The stars seen from Havana are brighter
They say walking the wharf at night mends hearts
Pain becomes a stranger, the load lighter
'Seek gaiety', the nickel moon imparts
For changing fashion, it could be Paris
Orange blossoms, tobacco scents set the mood
Zarzuela dancers tap on the terrace -
must have something to do with latitudeShadows embrace old written purple prose
of colonial times, revolution
She remembers pigeons in the white snow,
long ago caresses no illusion
Nightingales announce morning skies umber
with the dawn comes new lovers' soft slumber
oh i would love to visit havana one day... it sounds fascinating...and all the pictures i have seen of cuba so far seem to have that special light and mood....i can imagine that it touches you in many ways... maybe one day i'll make it there...who knows... smiles
ReplyDeleteLoved this Katy, you had me looking up 'umber' always great to come across a new word so very well done and Havana sounds like an interesting place.
ReplyDeletelove the couplet...sweet...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words Katy! Perfect Shakespearean! Hopefully Havana is really what it seems!
ReplyDeleteHank
what a great sense of place you have created in this...i think it would be cool to visit havana sometime....you give it a nice texture and def not all sugar....i like how you used your sonnet....
ReplyDeleteI love how created the place & imagery of Havana, specially the second stanza ~ I found the form challenging too but good for you to try it ~ Take care ~
ReplyDeleteOh this is beautiful I love how it moves...really lovely.
ReplyDeleteThe first line really pulls me in.. A dream of Havana as it might be, might have been or maybe just a dream. To me visiting a place sometimes breaks an illusion... But still Havana sounds lovely...
ReplyDeletei liked how this lingered
ReplyDeleteentrancing...you bring this place to life with a variety of senses.
ReplyDeleteLovely sonnet and you eviked the feeling of Havana with its sounds and scents.
ReplyDeleteI love the flow of this, Katy, and the way your rhymes are so natural - the best words in the best places, I'm pretty sure you know that the meter is a bit off in places - and I'm equally sure that, given more time than a dVerse prompt allows, you could easily smooth that out.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your feedback, Tony...something I've needed along the way in the way of constructive criticism. Thank you.
DeleteWe share a commonality here; I, too, nailed the flow & rhyme scheme, but flubbed the feet & meter. Still your poem is stunning, lovely, idyllic, & I have an actor pal, Adrian Sparks, in Havana right now, playing Hemingway in a new movie; PAPA. Havana, the home of thousands of classic American cars, would be a cool travel spot.
ReplyDeleteCool..I'll look for it!
DeleteI really like this a lot...especially when I read it non-metrically, it flowed beautifully. As Tony said, "the best words in the best places". By the way, I took you up on your challenge to write a more serious sonnet.
ReplyDeleteLove your take on the Shakespearean sonnet. Lovely textures, incorporating color, place, feel, and smell. I felt as though I'd been there. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if walking the wharf in the wee hours would be very different in Cuba than elsewhere? Romance transcends boundaries, but then you add the good tobacco and inspiring music and take me there.
ReplyDeleteit had the feel of an exotic place, nice
ReplyDelete:) I find peace after reading this poem, very nice.
ReplyDeleteLovely ~
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem, really enjoyed reading it!
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