Thursday, February 28, 2013

Words cry out...

Something new, an Exphrastic Trireme Sonnet  written today per instructions from poet Samuel Peralta for Form for All at ...

Words crying out to be freed and written
 to his long time wife he scripted an ode
pen inclined to paper tracing his blue heart 

From love's first sight til her now fate given
when rain falling distilled about her brow
rainbows growing to bridge their times apart

Letters were sealed by his moist lips to send 
(she waited for them in tide pool's mangrove) 
 kept them tied in blue ribbon in her armoire 

Branches bow low and soft billowed clouds wend 
soft warm breezes in places they once strode  
Sharing a hammock of legs hands and arms  

he recalls she asked of him, "...tell me, then, 
where do you begin...and...where do I end?"

by klr


  1. I enjoyed scanning over the near rhymes. Since the rhymes in this form barely work as rhymes (being seperated by too long a distance), it is fun to go back and look for them. Your playfulness with them was interesting.
    I read this poem two ways: one, the lover had just passed away. the second, a continuing love. Both interesting.

    PS - I think "longtime" is one word.

  2. Oh the concluding stanza... Very very nice. :-)

  3. nice...i am glad that he wrote to made me think of the end of life...and the things we leave behind...and love that lasts as well is so inspiring...kinda like the movie the Notebook...i dunno i am hopeful romantic...ha...nicely done to know me i like to break them a bit so near rhymes are fine by me...smiles.

  4. Yes, sometimes words DO call out to be freed and written; and I am glad he wrote to her when they called. I don't interpret this poem as being at the end of life, as in the second last stanza I see them sharing a hammock with legs, hands, and arms. Interesting question in the last couplet....and I wonder what his answer was!

  5. Love intertwined, always an amazing theme for a sonnet... and that final couplet with the inextricability of one from one another, that couplet encapsulated it all. This poem is so intimate and personal, I felt like I was looking through a diary.

  6. Wow... the ending couplet is a kicker... I just love it.

  7. A beautiful sonnet Katy ~ The concluding lines are specially poignant, full of love and remembrance ~

  8. "rainbows growing to bridge their times apart" - I like the mystical quality of that, a time is coming when they can't communicate in the same way they used to. A concession to an ending while preserving the essence. Lovely, Katy.

  9. I'm with Laurie. The final couplet was a lightning bolt.

  10. i just love the not knowing where one begins and the other one ends...isn't that just perfect unison...such a tender write..

  11. The final couplet is outstanding - it says so much about the develpoment of long-lasting intimate relationships.

  12. Brilliantly composed rhyme ... loved the story !!!

  13. I think the last couplet signifies the years of intimacy so much so that they have beome one entity. ..a real love poem.


  14. ...a most heart breaking couplet i would say Katy... like Sam... your imagery here resonated me to a feel of peeking on someone else's diary... the waiting is quite too long here and some emotions described here really appeals deeply to both heart & soul... greatly expressed & i enjoyed it...smiles...

  15. The final lines flow so well and say so much :)

  16. Why thank you Gretchen and all!


All comments, constructive and otherwise, are welcome and appreciated here. Thank you to those who show an interest in my quirky style of writing, photography, painting, and presenting a feeling or thought and for stopping by A Dwelling by the Sea..