On the rooftop in the city:Flowers - watering trillium and mums in her robe and slippers
A stabbing frozen wind snap
cuts her body's warmth like a knife
she's but a tiny dot from a pilot's view
At the equator from her balcony:
On the lemon tree and bougainvillea,
her watering can empties
She waltzes softly with a man
of great integrity
Gown of lavender lace,
sips Chardonnay
Downstairs in the old apartment:
Water for primroses and hot tea
She retrieves winter's wool blankets
unearths decor for the coming season
knobby fingers ache as she writes on
personalized linen stationery
"Dear Jeanne, I hope you are well -
Oh, but the smell
Of the sea, the present:
Daisies sway in the breeze,
tonic for me
"so do come to visit soon."
muffled noises from the market,
smells of fried oysters and fresh baked bread
waft through her open window,
lemon slices in her tea
On the phone in the old apartment:
"I fear the trillium will take a beating
foul weather they predict, severe
low temperatures" she said
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downpours, road accidents,
seems like infinity
Strolling on the beach ankle deep in waves:
Seagulls to feed instead of plants
She pedals the boardwalk under morning sun to the gallery,
buys taffy and sweet buns,
collects huge sand dollars to bleach titanium white,
and on the porch
dines alfresco -
and so she falls in and out of her deepest sleep's
continuing dream
Sharing with
dversepoets.comdverse.com where Victoria instructs how 'enjambment' is used as a tool in poetry and some history...
I loved this ... so many different images ... wonderful !!!
ReplyDeleteI love the rich sensory quality of this Katy. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you.,
DeleteThat sounds like a pretty nice day to me. Here in Atlantic Canada we are feeling the drops in temps at night now but, so far thankfully, it's not been too cold. I loved this walk through your day.
ReplyDeleteIn one setting, she is dreaming of the sunnier place; one life she is living, the other is where she would like to live..however she could be living in the sunnier location and dreaming of the more dreary place..
DeleteI enjoyed the way you mixed dream s with reality and the way you worked with the flowers in this poem. You created a memorable character in verse.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found the mix interesting..
Deletesmiles...the smell of the ocean is a balm for me as well....At the equator from her balcony -
ReplyDeletewatering can empties...is a cool phrase....i might have ended the line there to put emphasis on empties.....
def a dream worth living...smiles.
Thanks for the constructive comment..but what if she is dreaming of the wintry location, that the beach is her reality?
DeleteA sensuous delight...
ReplyDeleteVery interesting back and forth here between two climates and seemingly emotional landscapes as well. I thought it worked well, but some may not pick up on some of your clues-- ESP with regard to flowers. Rich and subtle description--liked the way the letter fit in. One thing --I personally find enjambment is very difficult to get across without punctuation. When you use a lot of enjambment, the reader needs guides other than line breaks. I know many disagree but something to think about. K.
ReplyDeleteI see, I think I know what you mean...I'm glad the contrast worked for you. I can see how it would be more effective....need to experiment more;) Already it seems some do not understand only the writer knows which setting is real and which is the dream..as it could be either...
DeleteThank you..
Nice movement in time and space using the form
ReplyDeleteI totally enjoyed traveling the imagery like in a Joni Mitchell song: life, friends, dream, joy.
ReplyDeleteWow, now that you mention it.....;)Thanks
Deletewow...love this...odors of fried oysters and fresh baked bread ...you make me hungry ya know..
ReplyDeleteNice mix of images,beautifully visual and alluring.
ReplyDeleteThanks..but it lacks any symbolism or other poetic value I realize...after reading it over again..again..
DeleteI felt a bit transported back in time, savoring the images, the tastes, so much sensory details that create the mood. Beautiful, with effective use of enjambment.
ReplyDeleteI was concerned that it wasn't very effective...descriptive, yes, time warp, yes, but far from the dead man's book poem!l)
DeleteI suppose I didn't worry too much about which was the reality as they both felt grounded and magical in equal measure. I enjoyed the imaginative leap and contrasts, the images and sensory detail.
ReplyDeleteYou are right..another stronger contrast would be a homeless woman against the elements and her ordeal...hmmm wish I had thought of it..thanks for the grounded and magical part;)
DeleteA great view from the balcony
ReplyDeleteA beautiful, heartfelt and sensual journey through time. THis is lovely.
ReplyDeleteoh delightful...and that balcony shot......to die for
ReplyDeleteyou are an extraordinary writer - sensual and delicious. the balcony by the sea shot is splendid! I've truly enjoyed this visit. wishing you a peaceful weekend.
ReplyDelete