Thursday, October 18, 2012

From a rooftop...in a dream...

  by klr

On the rooftop in the city:

Flowers - watering trillium and mums in her robe and slippers
A stabbing frozen wind snap 
cuts her body's warmth like a knife
she's but a tiny dot from a pilot's view

At the equator from her balcony:

On the lemon tree and bougainvillea,
her watering can empties
She waltzes softly with a man
of great integrity 
Gown of lavender lace,
sips Chardonnay

 Downstairs in the old apartment:

Water for primroses and hot tea
She retrieves winter's wool blankets
unearths decor for the coming season
knobby fingers ache as she writes on 
personalized linen stationery 
"Dear Jeanne, I hope you are well - 
 Oh, but the smell 

Of the sea, the present:

Daisies sway in the breeze,
tonic for me
"so do come to visit soon."
muffled noises from the market, 
smells of fried oysters and fresh baked bread 
waft through her open window,
lemon slices in her tea

On the phone in the old apartment:

"I fear the trillium will take a beating 
foul weather they predict, severe 
low temperatures" she said
Long months to read books and crochet, surviving 
downpours, road accidents,
seems like infinity 

Strolling on the beach ankle deep in waves:
Seagulls to feed instead of plants
She pedals the boardwalk under morning sun to the gallery, 
buys taffy and sweet buns,
collects huge sand dollars to bleach titanium white, 
and on the porch                
dines alfresco -
           
and so she falls in and out of her deepest sleep's 
continuing dream 


Sharing withdVerse Poets Pubdversepoets.comdverse.com   where Victoria instructs how 'enjambment' is used as a tool in poetry and some history...


26 comments:

  1. I loved this ... so many different images ... wonderful !!!

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  2. I love the rich sensory quality of this Katy. :)

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  3. That sounds like a pretty nice day to me. Here in Atlantic Canada we are feeling the drops in temps at night now but, so far thankfully, it's not been too cold. I loved this walk through your day.

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    1. In one setting, she is dreaming of the sunnier place; one life she is living, the other is where she would like to live..however she could be living in the sunnier location and dreaming of the more dreary place..

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  4. I enjoyed the way you mixed dream s with reality and the way you worked with the flowers in this poem. You created a memorable character in verse.

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  5. smiles...the smell of the ocean is a balm for me as well....At the equator from her balcony -
    watering can empties...is a cool phrase....i might have ended the line there to put emphasis on empties.....


    def a dream worth living...smiles.

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    1. Thanks for the constructive comment..but what if she is dreaming of the wintry location, that the beach is her reality?

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  6. Very interesting back and forth here between two climates and seemingly emotional landscapes as well. I thought it worked well, but some may not pick up on some of your clues-- ESP with regard to flowers. Rich and subtle description--liked the way the letter fit in. One thing --I personally find enjambment is very difficult to get across without punctuation. When you use a lot of enjambment, the reader needs guides other than line breaks. I know many disagree but something to think about. K.

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    1. I see, I think I know what you mean...I'm glad the contrast worked for you. I can see how it would be more effective....need to experiment more;) Already it seems some do not understand only the writer knows which setting is real and which is the dream..as it could be either...
      Thank you..

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  7. Nice movement in time and space using the form

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  8. I totally enjoyed traveling the imagery like in a Joni Mitchell song: life, friends, dream, joy.

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  9. wow...love this...odors of fried oysters and fresh baked bread ...you make me hungry ya know..

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  10. Nice mix of images,beautifully visual and alluring.

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    1. Thanks..but it lacks any symbolism or other poetic value I realize...after reading it over again..again..

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  11. I felt a bit transported back in time, savoring the images, the tastes, so much sensory details that create the mood. Beautiful, with effective use of enjambment.

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    1. I was concerned that it wasn't very effective...descriptive, yes, time warp, yes, but far from the dead man's book poem!l)

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  12. I suppose I didn't worry too much about which was the reality as they both felt grounded and magical in equal measure. I enjoyed the imaginative leap and contrasts, the images and sensory detail.

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    1. You are right..another stronger contrast would be a homeless woman against the elements and her ordeal...hmmm wish I had thought of it..thanks for the grounded and magical part;)

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  13. A beautiful, heartfelt and sensual journey through time. THis is lovely.

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  14. oh delightful...and that balcony shot......to die for

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  15. you are an extraordinary writer - sensual and delicious. the balcony by the sea shot is splendid! I've truly enjoyed this visit. wishing you a peaceful weekend.

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All comments, constructive and otherwise, are welcome and appreciated here. Thank you to those who show an interest in my quirky style of writing, photography, painting, and presenting a feeling or thought and for stopping by A Dwelling by the Sea..