Over at dversepoets.com today we are writing in a foreign language; my second language is Spanish and this is something written quite awhile ago. At one time I was immersed in the Ecuadorian culture for awhile..I hope you enjoy it...poems always sound better to me in Espanol and as you can see use fewer words..Vales La Pena
En tu lado del
continente hay lagunas inquietas,
bostezando,
esperando de ser
cruzadas
y puentes que solo
existen de donde saltar
me hablas en canto ..
como melodia del colobri
en tu voz de
setiembre
me hizo sentir de
duelo
y me prometiste que
bailemos bajo la lluvia
el olor del viento y
la neblina
entran cada oido
traje de luces y
piernas largas de avestruz
cruzadas y de goma
se levantaban al
ventricular,
senti un naufragio
me despierto
alzando mi brazo para
sellarte dentro de mi
pecho
agarro almuadas
vacias
donde estas? que has
hecho ?
te necesito, no
tierra ajena
el amo te alcanza y
vales la pena
Sometimes it's better to write in English first then Spanish...it did not translate as well as I thought..this is a better version..how it would sound in Spanish but many words are left out or "lost in translation"....
You Are
Worthy
On your side of the continent there are lagoons,
restless,
yawning,
waiting to be crossed ...
and bridges that exist only to jump from ...
I speak in song .. the humming bird's melody ...
in your voice of September ...
I felt grief
and you promised me a dance in the rain.
yawning,
waiting to be crossed ...
and bridges that exist only to jump from ...
I speak in song .. the humming bird's melody ...
in your voice of September ...
I felt grief
and you promised me a dance in the rain.
the smell of the wind and fog
enter each ear ...
(dress) suit of lights and long ostrich-like legs ...
cross and weather a hangover ...
rising all the way to the heart,
shipwrecked,
I awake ... raising my arm
to seal you inside my chest…(breast)
only to clutch empty pillows.
enter each ear ...
(dress) suit of lights and long ostrich-like legs ...
cross and weather a hangover ...
rising all the way to the heart,
shipwrecked,
I awake ... raising my arm
to seal you inside my chest…(breast)
only to clutch empty pillows.
where are you? what have you done?
I need you, not a distant land …
my love reaches out for you …
because you are worth it.
wow what incredible visuals...esp as you describe what you are wearing...a fav section..
ReplyDeleteyou speak to me singing
as a melody of the hummingbird
in your voice of September
very nice layering in that...you are worth the pain is so evocative as well...
as Brian says, nice visuals, i like the Ostrich legs made of rubber
ReplyDeleteBichon Frise
I really like the last four lines....so very love-filled!
ReplyDeletethe promise to dance in the rain
ReplyDeleteyes, worth it indeed!
beautiful descriptions, love the imagery you chose, fresh and vivid. Outstanding. The spanish version is beautiful read aloud. I can actually pronounce the language decently, so I definitely enjoyed doing an impromptu reading for my pups laying on the bed. I think they enjoyed it quite well, the little one kept tilting her head, so I know I had her attention:) Thanks for sharing with us tonight, was definitely a pleasure to read.
ReplyDeleteWow. I loved this. It's good in English, but in Spanish it's superb. You are a wonderful writer. The imagery in the poem is precious, sensual and romantic. So very good.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful verse, wonderful imagery and the promise of a dance in the rain. Just lovely.
ReplyDeleteEscritura pintoresca...bravo!
ReplyDelete...love the sentiments here...with really nice touches...the smell of the wind & fog and so on is quite a fave to me...smiles...
ReplyDeletethe smell of the wind and fog...always love when scents are included...and so interesting how much longer it seems in english... if you translate sth. from german to french it's just the other way round...spanish is a wonderful language for poetry, i wish i could read neruda in spanish
ReplyDeletei would like to dance in the rain
ReplyDeletelovely poem
Lovely... especially:
ReplyDeletein your voice of September ...
I felt grief
and you promised me a dance in the rain
"Bridges that only exist to be jumped from" caught my attention, a superb contrast to the romantic hope/hope of romance in the remainder of your beautiful poem. Enjoyed greatly in both languages.
ReplyDeleteVery fresh images - great poem in both languages. Loved the sound of the Spanish.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful...."my love reaches out for you …because you are worth it." Powerful words, beautiful images throughout. I'm sure it's just as beautiful in Spanish :)
ReplyDeleteThe Spanish is just beautiful. It has a wonderful simplicity and tenderness. You know it is so interesting - I always seem to find that directions are longer in Spanish, but you are right that the poem seems distilled.
ReplyDeletek.
I awake ... raising my arm
ReplyDeleteto seal you inside my chest…(breast)
only to clutch empty pillows.
So much depth. This is beautiful.